1.You get up to a beautiful morning - and then you slam your knee on a table. Wincing in pain, what do you do?

• Cry out "damn you, Humanity!"
• Cry out "damn you, Karl Marx!"
• Cry out "damn you, Internet!"
• Curse the pile of clothing on the floor that caused me to trip
• Nothing. Due to the lack of grey matter in your head, the pain disappears almost as quickly as it came.
• Get a pill. That'll ease my achin' knee.
• Curse the condom wrapper I slipped on.
• Go pee.

2. The pain forgotten for now, you go and pack your lunch to eat today at school/work/homeless wandering/chain gang/etc.. Said lunch consists of:

• Anything but red meat.
• Doesn't matter really. I can trade away anything to any gullible idiot with a good looking meal.
• Vitamins. Lots of vitamins.
• Brains.
• Condoms. Who has time to actually *eat* at lunchtime? o.0
• No time to eat. Will be too busy beating up geeks.
• Candy.
• Anything that doesn't constipate.

3. Ok, time to get dressed, what do you put on?

• Pants that are very small and very tight.
• Something with decent-sized pockets (for the weed, of course).
• Something not covered in straw.
• *Anything* but what everyone else is wearing.
• Something I can run fast in.
• Something I can take on and off easily (damn my bladder).
• A bright green shirt.
• I hate wasting time, so I'll just grab something random.

4. So, you're on your way to school/work/whatever. What's playing on your radio?

• Something that's *not* techno, cause it's so repetitive and trendy.
• Something that's *not* techno, I like actual humans to play the instruments in the music I listen to.
• Video game music.
• Not the Marx brothers.
• Anything but country.
• Phish.
• Nothing. The noise would upset my stomach.
• Nothing actually *on* the radio, that's for sure. Maybe something indie.

5. You get to work/school, and of course, the first person you encounter is ole Ralphie, who bugs the hell out of you, because:

• He thinks I'm a capitalist pig.
• He keeps trying to friggin hug me all the time.
• He always smells like ass.
• I can't stand straight-edgers, and he's as straight as they come.
• He keeps gnawing on my head.
• He believes in zero population growth.
• cuase most uf his writen werk lookz leik this
• He wastes his entire life in front of a computer doing pointless crap.

6. You settle down to actually get stuff done today, but instead find yourself distracted. Why?

• All that speed made me jittery.
• Cause I haven't flamed my quota of online lamers for today!
• Diahrrea.
• Too busy plotting world domination.
• Too busy trying to figure out how to lace ecstasy with cyanide.
• Too busy cursing the Russians.
• With all these bastards attacking me, how *could* I get any work done?
• Too damn horny.

7. Work/School's over! Your plans for the evening involve:

• Something solitary.
  
• Something that involves earning more money for me.
• Drugs of some sort.
• Sex.
• Hiding. From "You Know Who". *shivers*
• A good clean bath.
• Listening to depressing music.
• Anything but spending more time in front of the friggin computer.