When you were young, did you have dreams? Did you think that the world was going to unfold before you like a lawn chair of destiny? There was no way anything could go wrong for you, the world was your burrito. Well, you shall now learn the vicious seal-clubbing reality that is Life as You Know It.

This quiz will not only tell you what you want to be when you grow up, but will also give you the cold hard facts of your future (or possibly even current) reality. Warning: results may be more bitter then you bargained for!

Imagine yourself as you were in elementary school when answering these questions:

1. So it's a beautiful Saturday afternoon, what are you doing?

  • Running amuck outside with other kids, probably in the middle of the street doing something that involves both a ball and the possibility of smashing some important body part.
  • Running amuck outside near some other kids, probably bossing them around as they try to avoid me.
  • Running amuck outside near some other kids, probably showing off in some manner or another.
  • Running amuck far away from, well, much of anything - I hope I can find my way back home!
  • Running amuck somewhere or another with some animals, as I attempt to convince my dog/cat/parrot/goldfish to do as I command.
  • Hiding in my room, I like looking at words!
  • Hiding in my room, I like shiny pretty objects!
  • Wherever I am, I'm doing what I do best: being loud!

2. You got hurt pretty bad, recently I hear, how'd it happen?

  • I jumped off the roof.
  • I smashed an important body part, it involved a ball.
  • I totally messed up my outfit. Will you buy me another one?
  • I fell in a hole, I was kind of out of it at the time.
  • I was clawed by a rabid guinea pig!
  • I fell off the stage!

3. So where do you sit in your class?

  • In the front, I have things to learn!
  • In the front, more people can see how pretty I look!
  • In the front, I just love the attention!
  • In the back, near where the paste is stored.
  • In the back, makes it easier to do stuff without the teacher noticing.
  • Wherever, my mind is on what I'm doing after class anyhow!

4. What's your favorite subject in school?

  • Band, of course! Or maybe recess.
  • Math or Science.
  • Gym, of course.
  • I guess Reading. I like to read out loud.
  • Social Studies.
  • Duh, lunch

5. If you could go on a vacation anywhere, where would you go?

  • Disneyworld! I want to see the castle!
  • Disneyworld! I wanna meet all the characters.
  • The Moon!
  • Washington DC!
  • Hollywood!
  • I don't care, as long as there's an arcade there!
  • But, I don't wanna miss practice!
  • What, I gotta go somewhere with my parents? That sucks.

6. Do you get along with other kids?

  • Yeah, everyone loves me! I stay away from the loser kids, though.
  • But of course, I'm quite friendly!
  • Sometimes. My teacher really likes me, though!
  • Yeah, all the cool kids at least. We make fun of all the loser nerds and the stupid preppies though.
  • My mom thinks I'm cool!

7. What's your bedtime?

  • Whenever I feel like it!
  • Doesn't matter anyway, I'll stay up with my flashlight reading, or sneak onto the computer.
  • Doesn't matter, I've always got some convincing excuse to stay up later!
  • My parents and I came to a diplomatic agreement on a fair bedtime!
  • I'm usually pooped and fall asleep right away, no matter when it is!
  • Whenever my parents make me, I guess.

8. Why do you think you were put here on this earth:

  • To give everyone else someone to look up to and/or admire!
  • To be awesome!
  • To achieve great things!

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Quest for the Fountain of Life